Support Your Child's Social Development
Friday, August 31, 2007
By: PCA Florida

Bullying Prevention

• Prevent bullying by talking with your child about what bullying is, why bullying is wrong and what they can do if they witness their peers being bullied.
• Continue having a safe and healthy atmosphere at home.  Keeping the lines of communication open between family members will allow the child to know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
• Teach your child what qualities to look for in a friend, such as someone that makes them feel comfortable when acting themselves.
• Encourage your child to get involved in pro-social activities.  Such activities include organized school and community groups and team building activities and play. Parents’ involvement in groups with their children will increase the likelihood of their children’s willingness to participate.
• Help your child establish a positive self esteem by also encouraging participation in out of school activities.  This will help them gain confidence while participating in a team activity with a different peer group and give them an opportunity to make additional friends outside of the school yard.
• Encourage them to make friends and play with others during times when bullying can occur.  They are less likely to be the victim of bullying if they are not alone.
• Teach children not to participate in the teasing of others or hurting children by making them feel bad about themselves.
• Teach children that reporting bullying is different from tattling on someone. Bullying hurts someone and can be stopped.  If they are scared to tell by themselves, they should seek help with a friend or even an older sibling.
• If they witness bullying occurring, encourage them to seek help from teachers or other adults that will be able to stop and further monitor the bullying.

Children react in many different ways from being bullied.  Here are some signs and symptoms children may express if being bullied:

• Shy, insecure, suffers from low self esteem
• Torn articles of clothing or missing belongings
• Unexplainable bruises, cuts, or scrapes
• Fear of going to school or participating in organized activities
• Anxious or depressed when returning home from school
• Quiet or seems withdrawn
• Complains of illness such as stomachaches
• Changes in diet
• Has trouble sleeping or numerous bad dreams

Here are some tips to help your child if he or she is being bullied:

• Listen to what your child says.  Support your child by talking about problem-solving solutions. Avoid any blame to your child for provoking the situation; this can further make the child feel victimized and may close the lines of communication.
• Be supportive and ask specific questions about what, who, where, and how long the bullying has been happening.
• Reassure your child to continue being themselves.  Changing their ways for others is not the right solution or reason to end bullying.
• Teach your child tips to withdraw from the situation instead of fighting back.  This will help to diffuse the situation instead of escalating it. 
• Contact the school, principal, or teacher immediately.  They will have a better understanding of how the children interact together at school.  They will also be alert to the situation and able to keep an eye on the children during such periods when the bullying can occur (lunch, recess, before and after school)

Children who bully other children may have some of the following characteristics:

• Easily frustrated
• Impulsive or dominant
• Has difficulty following rules
• Views violence in a positive way
• Shows no signs of empathy

What should you do if your child is the bully?  Finding out your child is a bully may come as a shock and as a parent you may feel disappointed or angry.  Feelings of denial are also common.  It is important to remember children act differently in different social settings.  Guiding children and teaching them appropriate behavior is a responsibility parents must take. Here are some useful tips to help STOP your child from bullying.

• Tell them their behavior is inappropriate and will not be tolerated.  Making clear expectations for your child helps them to recognize desired behavior. Tell them that it is unkind to make others feel unhappy.
• Praise children for kind acts offered to other children.  This helps them to recognize appropriate social skills and learn the kind of behavior that is appreciated and accepted.
• Spend more time with your child and monitor his or her behavior.  Surrounding your child with positive role models will help create a positive attitude.
• Teach your child there are other ways to make and have friends that doesn’t involve bullying others.
• Seek help and other tips from school counselors for ways to add an extra layer of education for your child at school.